I sit here in my home staged with minimal belongings, and gaze upon the photoless walls. It feels so clean, yet there is an echo from the emptiness. After 3 showings and only a couple of days on the market, my realtor has informed me we should soon expect 2 offers for our house. The house that we purchased 10 years ago, renovated and turned into a loving home.
As I gulp the strong coffee in my cup, forcing the lump in my throat to subside for a moment, I wonder if this is all a mistake.
Friends fill my inbox with, “Where are you moving!?” I shamefully set my phone aside, hoping to give myself more time to respond. Because my answer is, “I don’t know.”
It’s puzzling that someone may list their house for sale, for no apparent reason, and have no idea where they are to move to. Surely we are not choosing homelessness without a cause. The reality is that we’ve been wanting to move for quite some time. There are countless miniscule reasons, but more importantly, there is a deep, loud inner desire in our hearts to move to a new home.
A home that we haven’t laid our eyes upon yet. A home that we believe is perfect for our family in every way. It has beautiful land where we can cultivate fruit trees, herbs, vegetables and flowers. The backyard is perfect for hosting family cookouts, inviting friends over to play, and to allow Liam to ride his dirt bike on. The house itself is built well; the structure is solid, it has been maintained and cared for, and the light that pours through the windows makes the wooden floors sparkle. There is a homeschool room on the first floor, and it’s a joy to be in. There’s another bedroom so that we can expand our family.
I have dreamt of this home and property time and time again. I can almost describe it to you in full detail. And while I’m not sure when or where we will find it, I know it’s waiting for us.
This dream began as a seed planted around 5 years ago. A tiny seed that eventually sprouted into what is now a full-fledged dream. A dream I’ve put on vision boards, written in journals, and prayed for every night.
Several months ago this dream began to really take root. It started with crunching numbers that never made sense before, but now aligned perfectly with our finances and goals. Then, we found proof that our dream home exists within our price range – we simply need to find the one for us.
Now, I sit in a home that is barely my own, wondering when my new home will present itself.
While there is a subtle fear in not knowing what lies ahead, I’m fairly certain that everything good I’ve achieved in life was the product of blind following.
When I glance back at my own timeline, I notice how every leap of progress came from a big, scary, unconventional decision. I realize that my greatest successes held the largest risks. The best, life-changing choices I’ve made had no definite outcome at the time. The only thing in common with all of these scenarios is this – I felt so deeply called to do it, that I had no choice but to act.
Taking new career opportunities, moving, leaving old careers, setting aside my work to homeschool my children… All big decisions that wound up being the most life-changing opportunities. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had listened to my fear instead.
While I am eager to see where this path leads, for now I’m going to settle in and enjoy the journey.
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